Dan White

I just saw the biggest, juiciest rattlesnake ever in Rancho San Antonio. I stood in the middle of the path and tried to direct people away from the snake. I warned everybody that the huge snake was on the right side of the road and that they had “better watch out.” The trouble is that everyone thought I meant my right side of the road, so they did the opposite of what I told them and walked left instead of right, straight into the coils and dripping fangs of that rattlesnake. If I had to guess, about 15 people walked straight into the jaws of that snake because of my attempt to help them out. It probably chomped and maybe even swallowed every one of them. (sorry, everybody.) http://cactuseaters.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

On Sunday, while strolling through the mountains, I almost walked right into a black bear yearling with white-and-cinnamon fur and a hulking Mama Bear, who was jet black, and right on the side of the trail near Crescent Meadow. Someone warned me in the distance. “There’s a bear!” According to several witnesses (I have blanked out everything that happened next)I put my hands up to make myself look bigger and took small steps backward, away from the bears, who were only 20 feet or so away from me. After a while, they snurfled around through the bushes and took off. I am not bragging about this at all, but it’s worth mentioning because I’ve made such a mess of my bear encounters in the past. It just goes to show that people can learn from their mistakes. But I have no proof of this. I know that someone videotaped the…

Here is the most recent review — and thanks to the reader who sent this in today. (I’m counting on you guys, since I don’t have much time to trawl through the Internet these days.) In other news, disgusting ants have entered my residence and they keep trying to carry me off so they can feed me to their ant queen. When I wake up in the morning, I am exactly one foot closer to the door than I was when I went to sleep. This means the ants are trying to carry me off incrementally, in the hope that I won’t notice until it’s too late. Anyhow, if you have any non-toxic solutions, please let me know. It’s getting really bad. http://cactuseaters.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

Colum McCann — Let The Great World Spin. Steve Almond — Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life. The Toto lyrics chapter just about killed me. Daniel Okrent — Last Call. This book is a riot, and it’s the most precise and engaging book on the subject. Now nudging its way up the bestseller list. Dan Chaon — Await Your Reply. Identity-theft nightmare. Will make an insomniac out of you. David Howard — Lost Rights: The Misadventures of a Stolen American Relic Real-life historical crime caper. Gripping and real. See blog entry below. Rebecca Skloot: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. John Richardson: My Father The Spy. Your parents’ secret career. Dave Cullen: Columbine. Everything you thought about Columbine turns out to be wrong. On order: Beth Raymer, Lay The Favorite. The last time I saw Beth Raymer, it was four or five years ago, and she was giving an…

Every once in a while, I am going to post brief stories about the truly horrible service I’ve experienced or witnessed in local restaurants. Feel free to send in if you have a tale to tell about exceptionally bad service. Meanwhile, here are two stories. Not so long ago, I took my parents to a fancy downtown restaurant that is known for its home-made lemonade, its chicken entrees and its snide owner. My father complimented the waitress on the lemonade. “That is very, very good,” he said. “Do you give free refills?” “No!” she said. “You think we serve refills for free here? This is not Baker’s Square!” My father took this in stride — in fact, he thought it was pretty funny. Just to show that there were no hard feelings, when the waitress came back, he decided to give her some good-natured ribbing. When she asked if he…

Quite busy. Sorry I haven’t returned your email. http://cactuseaters.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

Do your part. Do it for Rue McClanahan. http://cactuseaters.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

Way to go to my friend Kara Levy. Here she is, reading a prize-winning fiction story that is now featured prominently in one of the world’s most popular media blogs. http://cactuseaters.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

I was upset to see that a former haunt of mine, Bookworks in Aptos, California, seemed to be kaput. I used to spend hours in the store, guzzling coffee, reading the magazines and buying just enough inventory to upgrade myself from “loiterer” to “frequent customer.” Stopping in to browse through this charming store, I saw some ugly brown wrapping on the windows last week, along with a notice saying that the space was being turned into, of all things, a bike store. (I love bikes, but this area has bicycle outlets the way Haight-Ashbury has creperies and stinky bong emporiums.) Fortunately, the store has merely moved, although it’s smaller than before. http://cactuseaters.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

Before relocating, I chatted with Lynn Gentry, the famed street poet of Haight-Ashbury, about leaving town. Among other things, I explained to him the staggering amounts of lead in my Victorian apartment (up to 45 times the permissible levels of lead according to the SF Health Department.)He sat down at his typewriter and came up with this nice farewell verse: “Calls come suddenly and time is too lateto dawn upon minds that wished for so much more butbeauty sits so fragile; who could have known yesterdaythe mystery that calls us to protect oursevlesFrom the dreams of ourselves where questions sit in mind but little girls sit in viewabout to turn twoand we turn our back on fantasies to realize paradise.” Good one, Lynn Gentry. http://cactuseaters.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default