Heartbreak in the liquor aisle: hook-up attempts thwarted at Trader Joe’s

Yesterday, I witnessed two hook-up attempts at a local Trader Joe’s.

Both of them were shot down in flames.

It happened while I was hanging out near the legendary liquor aisle, trying to choose between Full Sail Ale or the horrible-tasting, recession-priced Simpler Times. I saw a nice woman — maybe 50 — flirting with a good-natured, portly guy, a bit younger than her. They got into a conversation about beer options: Red Oval Classic versus Simpler Times. Then the woman asked if she could take him home with her, and that way they could taste-test the beers together and have some dinner, too. Instead of taking her up on this friendly offer, he rebuffed her: “Get in line, baby!’‘ he said with a smile.

So the woman backed off, and the guy walked over to that place in the back where they serve you free samples. There, he started flirting with a woman — at least 20 years his junior — who was handing out bits of salad in paper containers.

“You do your job very well,” he said to the young woman. “Man, do I love this place! It’s got everything I want. Just a minute ago, this lady tried to pick me up in the liquor aisle. I told her, ‘You’d better get in line, baby!”

The young woman gave him a wan smile, turned the other way, and went on to doling out salad.

I saw the man a few moments later in the back of the store, emptying several free containers of spicy peanut slaw into his mouth at the same time.


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