A runner’s lament: “Man, I wish I was stoned.”

Well, I managed to finished the SF Marathon. I had a nice time, although I practically crawled the thing. I could tell, from the first mile, that it just wasn’t happening for me this time. My legs felt heavy even in that first stretch along the Embarcardero. The Golden Gate Bridge was spooky and fogged in, but it slowed me down even more — it was a real traffic jam in there. Although I went quite slowly and hit The Wall the entire time, there were many highlights:

1. The man trying to hand out free Bloody Marys and beers to runners at the race. I saw no one partake.

2. A strange man clapping for us and wishing us well on the sidelines. The strange thing was — he was facing away from us, not toward us, while cheering us on. Really odd. It was almost as if he were trying to wish us good luck in reverse.

3. A man running the race while dressed up as a Roman centurion with spear, shield, helmet and everything.

4. A runner, at the halfway point, loudly announcing, “Man, I wish I was stoned.” He soon got his wish, in the form of noxious second-hand ganja smoke wafting down Haight Street.

5. A runner holding a very heavy looking MIA/POW flag, while charging across the bridge in military garb.

As for me, I am going to scale back my ambitions and stick to much smaller races, until I figure out why I “bonked” so hard on this particular race. Since my times keep getting slower and slower, I might switch to a less strenuous sport. At this point, bocce is looking good.


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