Haight Ashbury’s incoherent drug pushers: why must they mumble?

Haight Ashbury’s pushers should all take elocution lessons. How many times has this happened to you? You’ve been walking down the street, minding your own business, and some guy comes up to you and makes you an offer that you can’t understand. “Hey you, want to buy some murgahblerghohgohablorojegt?” Yesterday, when I was down in the Haight, shopping for paper towels, a pusher approached me at the corner of Haight and Cole and asked if I wanted to buy a small bag of “green-vomit mushrooms.” I’m sure that’s not what he meant but his pronunciation was terrible! Five minutes later, near the corner of Haight and Clayton, a pusher tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I wanted to buy a few ounces of “bagpipe sprouts.”

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