My latest mystery: Why is there a horrible white light shooting out of my cell phone???

As you all know, I’m having problems with my WiFi, but now I have no means of communicating with the outside world at all. The problem is my cell phone. Yesterday I went to Miranda Weiss’s great reaading in the Marina. I was having a great time, but when I glanced at my cell phone, I noticed a blinding, obnoxious white light shooting out of the top of the phone!! It is (literally) blinding, and it runs down the battery so quickly that I can’t possibly juice it up. I can’t figure out how to fix the problem. On the good side, some of my friends think the blinding light looks “very cool,” and now they want blinding lights on their cell phone too. Also, my cell phone makes a pretty good flashlight. The question is, how is anyone going to contact me now? (You might try sending me a smoke signal, or throwing some pebbles at my window.)