I now, officially, have the most hideous front lawn in America. Basically, the owner chopped down the shady pretty tree in front of our house and replaced it with a huge pile of jagged stones — hundreds and hundreds of them lying beside my driveway like a midden of broken teeth. Personally, I don’t know what we’re supposed to do with all these (expletive) rocks. Unless Goliath attacks our house. In that case, I’ll be well-prepared.