Recipes in translation

This week, missing New York City, I tried to recreate the outstanding “orecchiette with broccoli and provolone” special they serve at Gennaro restaurant on Amsterdam. Unable to find the recipe in English on line, I searched the Italian cooking sites, hoping to find something similar. At long last, I found what I was looking for. The recipe was written entirely in Italian, with no English transcription. No problem! The recipe had a convenient “translation” function. I was sure that it would convert the recipe into clear, understandable, easy-to-follow English.

So I pressed the little translation button at the side of the screen, and here’s what came out:

Translation of recipe for the orechiette with provolone cheese and also the broccoli:

Step one: To begin with a bushel of orecchiette? Always measure bushel in grams for metric system.

Step two: While awaiting pasta to boil, you must prepare for the arugula world.

Step three: To cut the spicy arugula and provolone cheese into a fine Fiam! When you are finished with the fine Fiam, you must match type of cheese with rocket!

Step four: This is a very step of importance as such that taste totally changes, you have the choice to experiment with new combinations with soft cheeses such as goat cheese added to the coldness while mixing the sauce!”

Step five: Rocket your cheeses into the Fiam with matchmixing the sauce in arugula world. Steep five minutes, await!

Step six: Search the online world for still more delicious transformational recipes!

I must admit that I had some difficulty following these translated instructions. I have a few questions: how, exactly, do you match cheese with a rocket? What is a “fine Fiam”? Isn’t a Fiam a low-cost Italian utility vehicle from the ’80s? If so, what’s it doing in my orechiette recipe?

I will ponder these questions in the coming weeks.

In the meantime, I will keep waiting for the arugula world.

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