Squawk or treat: Chickens dress like Satan, The Mummy and George Clinton in rural Aptos

So what if I missed the concert event of the year in San Francisco? (see below.) This weekend I returned to the famous Glaum Egg Ranch Vending Machine, a 24-hour automatic dance party and egg dispenser located just off Freedom Boulevard in Aptos. Three dollars (crisp single dollar bills — no coins) buys you 24 eggs and a performance by a group of shameless, butt-shaking robotic chickens who will dance and sing and squawk for you behind glass.

This time, I stuffed my crisp three dollar bills into the slot, the curtains lifted up, and I was thrilled to see that the dancing chickens had brand new costumes just in time for Halloween. One of them was dressed up like George Clinton, complete with a pink-orange-green Afro fright wig. Another was dressed like a friendly Satan, complete with a felty pitch fork. They also had a mummy chicken and a ghostly chicken wearing a sheet. Plastic spiders were crawling all over the chickens.

Anyhow, it was the cheapest, loudest and most perverse entertainment i’ve had in quite some time. And it’s impressive that the people who run this robot chicken attraction seem to change their costumes every couple of months.

Now I have to figure out how to consume 24 enormous eggs before they all go bad.

If you think I’m lying about the robot chickens and the vending machine, see photos below, and follow the instructions here so you can see for yourself.


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